Expect kids to make mistakes. Don't be surprised when problems arise. Understand that the presenting behaviours tell a story. And, remember that the behaviour isn't the whole story. We need to look deeper and think deeper about what is happening. It's our job to look at the big picture, to believe kids have good intentions and to be as solution-focused as possible. We must always discipline with empathy and with a belief that mistakes our opportunities to learn.
Childhood is like an apprenticeship towards becoming an adult. When an apprentice makes a mistake the mentor, or leader, explains what went wrong, shows them how to do it properly and then oversees the apprentice's attempts to make it right. Over time, the mentor's hands-on involvement diminishes until the apprentice is ready to be completely independent. Like an apprentice, children need leaders (parents, teachers, coaches) who lead them through the vicissitudes of childhood. We need to be there when things go wrong, to explain what went wrong, show them how to do it properly and then oversee their ongoing development.
When we create a discipline model that sees children and childhood this way the true definition of discipline is realized, and real and lasting change for even our most troubled students is possible.
Childhood is like an apprenticeship towards becoming an adult. When an apprentice makes a mistake the mentor, or leader, explains what went wrong, shows them how to do it properly and then oversees the apprentice's attempts to make it right. Over time, the mentor's hands-on involvement diminishes until the apprentice is ready to be completely independent. Like an apprentice, children need leaders (parents, teachers, coaches) who lead them through the vicissitudes of childhood. We need to be there when things go wrong, to explain what went wrong, show them how to do it properly and then oversee their ongoing development.
When we create a discipline model that sees children and childhood this way the true definition of discipline is realized, and real and lasting change for even our most troubled students is possible.
How to Think about Behaviour
The Power of Attachment:
School Success for Troubled Kids